At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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