Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
