is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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