I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
