have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
