Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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