M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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