So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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