who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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