some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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