Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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