Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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