Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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