i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
