I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
