My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
