She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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