Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
