New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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