apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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