so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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