i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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