You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
