Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
