It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hippo gnu deer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
