And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
