we have officially lost it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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