This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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