I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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