We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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