My nipple is on Facebook.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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