do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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