btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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