drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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