I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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