You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
