So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
