i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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