Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
