How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
