i will never coherently bang her
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
