I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
