why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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