wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
OPIZZABONMYDICK
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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