My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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