office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
