i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
