Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
