Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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