Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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