He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
