i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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