Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
